Funny Wine Quotes

Funny Wine Quotes

Enjoy this list of funny wine quotes, many of which are from famous historic figures such as Benjamin Franklin, John Keats, William Shakespeare, and Napoleon. Do you have a favorite quote?

“Life is too short to drink bad wine.”
~ Anonymous

Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.
~ Anonymous

My only regret in life is that I didn’t drink enough Champagne.
~ John Maynard Keynes

Wine, one sip of this will bathe the drooping spirits in delight beyond the bliss of dreams. Be wise and taste.
~ John Milton

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn’t have to wait for it to age.
~ Steven Wright

Consuming wine in moderation daily will help people to die young as late as possible.
~ Dr Philip Norrie

Wine is the thinking person’s health drink.
~Dr. Phillip Norrie

“Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.”
~ Pope John XXIII

“If your heart is warm with happiness, you’ll need a glass – if sorrow chills your heart, have two!”
~ Hannu Lehmusvuori

“Wine cheers the sad, revives the old, inspires the young, makes weariness forget his toil.”
~ Lord Byron

“You need not hang up the ivy branch over the wine that will sell.”
~ Publius Syrius

Wine makes every meal an occasion, every table more elegant, every day more civilized.
~ Andre Simon

You haven’t drunk too much wine if you can still lie on the floor without holding on.
~ Dean Martin

W. C. Fields Wine Quotes

I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.
~ W. C. Fields

What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?
~ W. C. Fields

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.”
~ W. C. Fields

“I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink; that’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.”
~W. C. Fields

“Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.”
~ W. C. Fields

“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”
~ W. C. Fields

Robert Mondavi Wine Quotes

Wine to me is passion. It’s family and friends. It’s warmth of heart and generosity of spirit. Wine is art. It’s culture. It’s the essence of civilization and the art of living.
~ Robert Mondavi, Autobiography, “Harvests of Joy”

Making good wine is a skill. Fine wine is an art.
~ Robert Mondavi,

William Shakespeare Wine Quotes

“Come, come, good wine is a good familiar creature if it be well used; exclaim no more against it.”
~ William Shakespeare

“The wine cup is the little silver well, where truth, if truth there be, doth dwell”
~ William Shakespeare

“A man cannot make him laugh – but that’s no marvel; he drinks no wine.”

“Good wine needs no bush.”
~ William Shakespeare

“I am falser than vows made in wine.”
~ William Shakespeare

“There’s nothing serious in mortality. All is but toys; renown and grace is dead, The wine of life is drawn, and the mere lees Is left this vault to brag of. ”
~ William Shakespeare

“A cup of hot wine with not a drop of allaying Tiber in ‘t.”
~ William Shakespeare

“I am known to be a humorous patrician, and one that loves a cup of hot wine with not a drop of allaying Tiber in’t; said to be something imperfect in favoring the first complaint; hasty and tinder-like upon too trivial motion; one that converses more with the buttock of the night than with the forehead of the morning.”
~ William Shakespeare

Benjamin Franklin Wine Quotes

The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars.”
~ Benjamin Franklin

Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance.
~ Benjamin Franklin

We hear of the conversion of water into wine at the marriage in Cana as of a miracle.  But this conversion is, through the goodness of God, made every day before our eyes.  Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards, and which incorporates itself with the grapes, to be changed into wine;  a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy.
~ Benjamin Franklin

Thomas Jefferson Wine Quotes

Good wine is a necessity of life for me.
~ Thomas Jefferson

I have lived temperately….I double the doctor’s recommendation of a glass and a half of wine each day and even treble it with a friend.
~ Thomas Jefferson

I think it is a great error to consider a heavy tax on wines as a tax on luxury.  On the contrary, it is a tax on the health of our citizens.
~ Thomas Jefferson

“We could in the United States make as great a variety of wines as are made in Europe, not exactly of the same kinds, but doubtless as good.”
~ Thomas Jefferson

“By making this wine vine known to the public, I have rendered my country as great a service as if I had enabled it to pay back the national debt.”
~ Thomas Jefferson

“Wine, from long habit has become an indispensable for my health”
~ Thomas Jefferson

John Keates Poems with Wine

“Give me books, French wine, fruit, fine weather and a little music played out of doors by somebody I do not know.”
~ John Keats

“Give me women, wine, and snuff Untill I cry out “hold, enough!”You may do so sans objection
Till the day of resurrection: For, bless my beard, they aye shall be My beloved Trinity.”
~ John Keats

“Souls of Poets dead and gone, What Elysium have ye known, Happy field or mossy cavern, Choicer than the Mermaid Tavern? Have ye tippled drink more fine Than mine host’s Canary wine?”
~John Keats

“Knowledge enormous makes a God of me. Names, deeds, gray legends, dire events, rebellions, Majesties, sovran voices, agonies, Creations and destroyings, all at once Pour into the wide hollows of my brain, And deify me, as if some blithe wine Or bright elixir peerless I had drunk, And so become immortal.”
~ John Keats

William Makepeace Thackeray Wine Quotes

“Grudge myself good wine? As soon grudge my horse corn.”
~ William Makepeace Thackeray

“Wine gives great pleasure, and every pleasure is of itself a good.”
~ William Makepeace Thackeray

Ralph Waldo Emerson Wine Quotes

“A man will be eloquent if you give him good wine.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Give me wine to wash me clean of the weather-stains of care.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Charles Dickens Wine Quotes

“Fan the flame of hilarity with the wing of friendship, and pass the rosy wine.”
~ Charles Dickens

“I cannot, with such perception as I have of what is reasonable, go along with those excellent persons in confounding the use of anything with its abuse, or in denying any man the cheerful enjoyment of a glass of wine, or beer or spirits and water, because his neighbor is prone to make a beast of himself by irrational excess in those things.”
~ Charles Dickens

Champagne is one of the elegant extras in life.”
~ Charles Dickens

Napoleon Wine Quotes

Napoleon Bonaparte, French emperor (1769-1821)
“I drink champagne when I win, to celebrate…and I drink champagne when I lose, to console myself.”
~ Napoleon

“Nothing makes the future look so rosy as to contemplate it through a glass of Chambertin.”
~ Napoleon

“Clearly, the pleasures wines afford are transitory – but so are those of the ballet, or of a musical performance. Wine is inspiring and adds greatly to the joy of living.”
~ Napoleon

“Wine is inspiring and adds greatly to the joy of living.”
~ Napoleon


  1. says

    Thank you for collecting these quotes together! They are wonderful! Love the Dean Martin one espeically.
    They gave me perfect inspiration to paint on my wine glasses! :)

  2. Barbara Anne says

    Love your collection of funny wine quotes! I will try to remember a few for my next dinner party.

  3. Madeline says

    ‘ Wine is the thinking person’s health drink ‘ sounds good to me. Great list of Funny Wine Quotes !

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